I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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