I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize