Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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