Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize