I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
