Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Randomize
