Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
