Christians are straight up FREAKS
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
