She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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