Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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