My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
