worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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