He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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