My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
