CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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