dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
