C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
