from now on my penis is your penis
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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