Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
