i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize