Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
