i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
