Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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