If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
