And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
3pm strippers are depressing
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
