I love black thongs
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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