Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
