You just made me feel so damn special
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
