nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
