My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
