if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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