I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
