Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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