You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm at about main and main street
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
