Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
