I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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