normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
