Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
