he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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