Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
