I heard we made out
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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