my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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