I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
