so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Who died my cat blue again?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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