yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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