It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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