I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
