my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
