He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
