i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
