dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
