Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize