i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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