I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
