Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
