I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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