i need an iv and a liver transplant
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
