Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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