You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
