One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
