yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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