but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
