I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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