He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
