in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize