we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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