so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
