We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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