i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
