Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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